My Life is a Fanfiction
by Boofeh
Summary: My wreckage of a life contains plot holes, illogical scenes, terrible OCs and bad grammar. The reason? My life is a fanfiction. Kingdom Hearts and The World Ends With You crossover, but with a difference. Rated T for sexual references and some swearing.
1. Sucks to be me

My life is a toilet.

No, my life is less than a toilet.

My life is a toilet brush.

Nope, still not even close.

My life is the brown stain on the bottom of a toilet bowl.

I'm getting warmer.

My life is a fanfiction.

Bingo.

And oh, what a horrific mess of a fanfiction it is. This particular fanfiction is riddled with plot holes, illogical and downright impossible scenes and terrible grammar. I think it was written by some eleven year old girl high on cough medicine or helium. I would like nothing more than to reach out of the screen and strangle her to death for making my existence so miserable.

The only joys of fanfiction that I have been spared from are Mary Sues. I'm not really sure if my friends are original characters or characters from the original story, but they are all far from perfect. Here's a short list of my closest friends, complete with health warnings.

First, there's Sora Hikari. He is so annoyingly cheerful and optimistic I want to take his rainbows and butterflies and ram them right up his skinny - … Yeah, you get it. He's supposed to be sixteen, but he acts like he's six. We thought he had ADHD, but when his parents took him to the doctor he just told them to stop feeding him sugar and caffeine. Now his diet is pretty much just raw vegetables and cold meat, so he's rather mal-nourished and stick thin. He's also hungry all the time, so we feed him most of our lunches to stop him from starving to death. Sora is also about as straight as a roundabout, and is constantly being molested by the resident pretty boy, Riku Yami. _And liking it_. The thought makes me shudder.

Then there's his twin brother, Roxas Hikari, the angry one. If you so much as look at him the wrong way he'll go off his rocker and try to stab you with the nearest pointy thing. Once he tried to brain me with a computer keyboard, leaving me with bruises in places I didn't even know I could get bruises. He's been kicked out of anger management classes for trying to wrestle the teacher out of the third-story window. However, if you catch him in a good mood he can be a lot of fun to hang around. He's a computer whiz, and once he made a virus that hacked into every user account in the school and changed their desktops to a really rowdy pornographic image. He is currently being courted by Axel Kaji and seeming to hate every minute of it.

Next in the line is Riku Yami – Everyone's favorite drag queen. Seriously, if he was any more up his own arse he'd be able to see out of his own mouth. Once, I tried to talk to him while we were standing in front of the grubby mirror in the boy's bathroom. He did not look away from his reflection once, and it's kind of disturbing to try and talk to a guy while he's flipping his hair about and looking at himself this way and that. I don't think I'd have been surprised if he'd pulled out a tube of lipstick and written his name on the mirror, surrounded by love hearts. He's been with Sora for about a year now, but he's cheating on Sora with himself. I also saw him make out with Axel once, but it's not my business so I just keep my observations to myself.

Last in the list of guys, but certainly not the least, is Axel Kaji, the resident pyromaniac. His arms and hands are all scarred and blistered from year's worth of third-degree burns, so he always wears long sleeves and gloves, even if it's a thousand degrees out. Last year the old, unused buildings at the back of the school were scheduled to be demolished in the school holidays, so Axel decided to save the school the fee for the demolisher and snuck on campus one night, doused the whole building in petrol and gunpowder and blew it sky-high.

He was bailed from jail a week before school went back, and we think he was wearing a wig for the first semester until his hair grew back.

Axel is rather like fire – unpredictable, destructive and when he hits you it hurts for weeks. He, like practically every other male in this Godforsaken school, is so gay he makes Chris Crocker seem straight. His current love interest is the feisty Roxas Hikari, who is rumored to have helped Axel blow up the school, but nobody can prove it.

The first female that comes to mind is the school prostitute, Kairi Shinzo. She'll give you a hand job if you do her homework, a head job if you get all the answers right, and she's been known to do the odd quickie in between classes if you promise to buy her lunch for the rest of the week. Her special offer for this semester is letting you do whatever you want to her for up to half an hour if you complete an assessment assignment for her. You get to double your time if you get an A for it. I considered taking her up on that offer so that I could tie her to a chair, tell her what a slut I think she is and leave her there, but then I remembered that she's in Honors for Geometry and History, and I'm not very good at either.

I don't know if the heartless wench actually has a crush on either Riku or Sora, but she's hell bent on breaking the two up. Once, she offered Riku a hand job free of charge, but do you know what he said to her? "I can do that myself."

No joke.

Then there's Naminé Dorobo. Dear, sweet Naminé, who couldn't do enough for her friends and whose only ambition in life is to make her father proud.

Psyche.

The girl is a kleptomaniac. Seriously, she can sniff out a full wallet at fifty paces and empty it in twenty seconds. Once she stole my locker key she went through everything in there and took everything that was either of some value or shiny. After that, I sewed a zip onto my pocket to keep her out. It worked for about a week, until she got the hang of quickly undoing zippers silently and doing them back up. Then I installed a small combination padlock that can't be picked. I haven't told a soul the code, either. So far it has been successful, but I did see her wrestling with a pair of bolt cutters in metalwork the other day.

Naminé has no love interest that I know of, apart from the lock on my pocket. I'm beginning to think that she's asexual.

My final friend is Zexion Shigoto, a student teacher. If you want something, you go to Zexion, because he's the guy who can get it for you. Gum, lollies, a new pair of jeans, porn, whatever you want, he can get it. He even managed to get a fluffy rabbit in for one of the younger girls once. He takes orders from Wednesday to Friday, and on the weekends he gets on a train and a couple of buses to get his orders. Then, somehow, he sneaks it all in past security and distributes it during his free lessons on Monday and Tuesday. It's expensive to order through Zexion, but he doesn't get paid much and his bus fares aren't cheap, so everyone is usually quite happy to pay an extra couple of dollars to get their stuff.

I met Zexion when I put in an order for a new DS and a couple of games. On the outside I was quite the gamer, but I was not permitted to bring my DS to school with me, so as soon as I caught wind of Zexion I was banging on the door of his office, asking for a DS. We got talking, and before I knew it we'd spent the whole day in his office, chatting about games and consoles and whatever else we could think of. When I came out of the room six hours later and four hundred dollars lighter, I had found my first real friend.

Since my first large order I haven't really ordered much from him, just a couple of posters and some cheaper games. However, he usually gives me a bit of a discount if I help him hand out the goods on Monday mornings, when he's usually hung over.

Actually, looking back over that list, I think I'd rather spend my days with a group of Mary Sues. At least they'd let me copy their homework. Still, all seven of us board (and one is learning to teach) at Gakko High, a correction center for juvenile delinquents in the mountains. There is nothing but forest for almost fifty miles, but we somehow still get reception here. The school was built in the mountains so that if any students escaped they wouldn't be a danger to society. However, escape is nigh-on impossible. The school is like a fortress, surrounded by barbed wire, electric fences, guard dogs and a moat. The last kid to attempt an escape wound up spending his last days in a minimum security hospital upstate, drinking his food through a straw.

Even though Gakko High is supposed to be a correctional center, the teachers are very lax when it comes to rule breaking. If it isn't against the law, they don't really care, but if it is they might try to give you a detention for it, but that's only if it's a big law like fraud, grand theft auto or assault. Even then you can just 'forget' to go to your detention and they won't care. Once I copped a new teacher and a detention when I didn't hand in an assignment on time, and when I went to serve my time I found a completely empty classroom with 'detention' scrawled on the whiteboard. Classes are much the same. They don't even bother with the roll call anymore, because there's usually just under half the class missing on a good day.

I'm not quite sure how I ended here, actually. I'm a decent enough student, perfectly sane and harboring no homicidal urges. I think it had something to do with my stepmother wanting me out of her hair, but whatever. She's a bitch, so I don't think of her too much.

What do I enjoy doing in my spare time? Well, my primary hobby is people-spotting. I know all that goes on – who's going out with who and the like. I know that Riku and Sora are experimenting with handcuffs and chains, I know that Kairi wears a female condom thing, I know that my Drama teacher and my Science teacher are having an affair and I know exactly how much gunpowder Axel is in possession of. I get a lot of info through Zexion, but just as much is from my own sniffing around. I like to think I don't care about anyone but myself, but the awful author who dictates the fanfiction that is my life cares more about relationships than an actual meaningful plot, so I care a lot. It's like being possessed, really. So, a lot of my free time is spent with those 'friends' of mine, mucking around with them, chilling with them and watching and analyzing them. I've become quite the nosy parker, actually, and I can't believe that nobody is onto me yet.

The only thing I really love doing for myself is playing my DS. However, it's a bad idea to have expensive electronics around kleptomaniacs, pyromaniacs and destructive geniuses, so I can only pull it out from underneath the loose floorboard under my bed when I have all the curtains closed and the door locked. I was lucky enough to get a room by myself, so I take advantage of this. Once, Axel asked me what I was doing in there with the door locked, so I told him I was watching porn. He looked kind of hurt and asked me why I wasn't sharing with him.

After my DS, I enjoy writing. Fanfiction, mostly. I just grab a pair of headphones and nestle down in front of one of the school computers to type my stories and listen to music. All of my work is saved to my private USB key – if I saved any of it to the computer or to the school hard drive it would be destroyed and I would be ridiculed to the end of my days. I'm not worried about people reading it over my shoulder – most people don't want to know what others do on the computers, and the ones who do know see the word document and the words and assume I'm doing work and leave me alone.

My current project is a fanfiction for my favorite DS game, The World Ends With You. Here, I'll share my first chapter with you.

"_The sea was calm today – blue waves rolled gently southwards as the weak winter sun smiled quietly overhead. A few fluffy white clouds floated happily in the azure sky, casting light shadows on the large white ferry that gracefully bobbed across the water._

_As it was such a beautiful day, the top deck of the ship was crowded with people lazing about on towels or deck chairs, trying to catch a tan in the winter sun. As a result, the indoor lounge was almost completely empty._

_A rather moody looking boy in his late teens sat on a bench next to the window, face pressed up against the glass as he gazed at the waves outside without really seeing them. His breath fogged up the glass, but he made no movement to clear it off. His ginger hair fell damply around his shoulders in limp spikes, as if he had just emerged from a swimming pool or a rainstorm. The top of his baggy blue jumper was also quite wet, but from his waist down he was completely dry._

_Next to him sat two slightly younger girls – one slim black haired girl of about fifteen and her friend, and a rather large brunette who looked at least thirteen. They were both rugged up in their colourful woolies and eating sandwiches, chatting away happily._

_The older boy pointedly ignored them, continuing to brood away quietly, until their conversation turned to him unexpectedly._

"_Say, whereabouts are you from?" The black haired girl asked, nodding at the older boy. He turned as stared at her blearily as if he's just woken up. Her question did not register, so she repeated herself._

_He gave it a bit of thought. "Tokyo." He muttered, his deep voice hoarse from his long silence._

_The fat brunette gave a small squeal of delight. "So am I! What part?"_

_The older boy waved his hand vaguely. "Shibuya."_

_The brunette girl nodded, taking a bite of her sandwich, smiling like an idiot. "I'm from Shinjuku." She said, even though he had not asked her where she came from. He nodded once and turned away again, obviously not caring._

"_I'm from Senonishi in Hiroshima, but I moved to Tokyo when I was thirteen." Added the black haired girl "I live in Harajuku, but I spend most of my time in Shinjuku with Kyoko here." she nudged her brunette companion, smiling playfully "But we all call her Ky, for short."_

_Ky butted in as the black haired girl paused to take a bite from her sandwich "And this pretty thing here is Yuki." The black haired girl blushed, but the older boy just stared at her blankly._

"_You're prettier than me, Ky!"_

"_No way!"_

"_Yes way!"_

_Their argument went on for several minutes, until the ginger haired boy turned back to the window, his expression stony._

"_What about you?" the high-pitched voice of Ky called out to him, but he ignored her. "What's your name?"_

_His face did not turn to her, and he sighed into the window "Neku.", eyes sliding shut wearily._

"_Neku? That's a cute name!"_

"_It's like neko!"_

"_Meow!"_

_Neku's lips turned slightly up at the corners into a nostalgic half-smile. "'That's a cute name'?" He chuckled a bitter, throaty tone "That's what she said."_

_Yuki's ears seemed to perk "She?"_

_Ky giggled "Someone special?"_

_Neku's face dropped into a glare, but he didn't look at them. "Sort of, but not really."_

_Yuki learned right down to look at his eyes, but Neku looked away. "Tell."_

_He shook his head._

_Ky made a sad face "But you look kind of sad, so telling someone might help you feel better!"_

_Yuki nodded. "Yeah, a problem shared is a problem halved!"_

_Neku smiled again, this time slightly wider than before. He the gentle waves through the window. "I doubt it."_

"_Why not?"_

_He sighed in defeat and closed his eyes as the smile fell into a deep frown. "I'm on my way to her funeral."_

_The silence was deafening – even the chatter from the people outside and the slap of waves on the side of the ship seemed to mute. A cloud passed overhead and the world outside the window darkened eerily for a moment._

"_Oh, sorry."_

"_Yeah, we didn't mean to pry."_

_Neku raised his head to look at the younger girls, a thoughtful expression on his features. "No, no, it's okay. In fact, I kind of feel better already." The nostalgic half-smile returned "She was always telling me to open up to people, not to push them away."_

_Yuki placed a hesitant hand on his shoulder. "What was her name?" _

_Neku's smile broadened, but his eyes hit the floor again. "Shiki." He muttered ruefully._

_Yuki and Ky smiled at him. "That's a pretty name."_

_Neku nodded. "I used to call her Stalker when I was making fun of her." He chucked "It was because of the way we met, but it's not really important right now."_

"_What did she look like?"_

"_Was she pretty?"_

_Neku gave the questions a bit of thought, twiddling with the oversized sleeves of his jumper. "She was short. Her hair was a dark brown and around her jaw line. She wore round, thick-rimmed glasses and always carried around a stuffed cat that she'd made by herself." His head cocked to the side as he chose his next words very carefully. "To me, she was very pretty, but the rest of the world disagreed. Her confidence was shot, and she was a very quiet, shy girl because of it."_

_There was a small silence as Ky tried to find a polite way to voice her next question._

"_How did she die?"_

_Neku's face fell forward as he hid his eyes behind his fringe. "It's a long story."_

_Yuki shrugged "We've got plenty of time."_

_Ky elbowed her in the ribs "You don't have to tell us, you know. We would like to hear it, but if you want to keep quiet we will understand."_

_Neku shrugged, head still down. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt. What do you want to know?"_

_Yuki tapped her chin as Ky re-discovered her forgotten sandwich "How about you start with how you met her?"_

_Neku shrugged again. "All right then." He paused slightly, eyes sliding about the cabin, searching for the words to begin. Once he found them, his hands folded comfortably on his lap and when he spoke his voice was a pitch lower. _

"_Well, I met Shiki when we were fifteen. I used to hate people, so I was pretty pissed when there were some accidents and I was forced to stick by her, a complete stranger, for just over a week. For the first couple of days I'd just ignore her when she tried to talk to me. It was…" He paused "… A very difficult time, and we had to work together to make it through. I know I was about ready to kill her a couple of times. And I almost did, once." He chuckled darkly, but the girls didn't see what was so funny. They recoiled a bit. "But eventually, with the help of some people we met along the way, we warmed up to each other and started acting as a team. And when it was over, we'd come to know each other so well, it was kind of hard to be apart. So me, her and two of the other people we'd met in our week together started to hang out after school. We all became the best of friends, doing everything together, helping each other and sharing everything we had. But then…" He trailed off, sighing._

_The girls nodded eagerly at him, learning forward in their seats._

"… _Shiki was assaulted."_

How do you like it so far? Pretty good, if I do say so myself.

I tried to show it to Zexion once, but he got two sentences in and gave up, saying that he was student teacher, not an English teacher. I didn't tell him that it was pretty much the same thing. Then I tried to tell Riku, but he didn't want to know about it once we'd established the fact that he wasn't in my story. For a while there I felt like a neglected little kid with a picture that his parents didn't want to look at, but then I found FanFiction(dot)net.

And that's where I found and explanation for my life. I learned why my life is so horribly clichéd and illogical. I learned why I'm practically the only straight male in the whole school, and why I don't seem to remember much of my life before I came to Gakko High.

I've learned that my life is a fanfiction. Just one terribly written fanfiction.

My name, you ask? Didn't I mention it before? Uh, whoops, my bad. Must have forgotten. How rude of me.

My name is Demyx Mizu, and this is my fanfiction of a life.

-x-

**Author's Notes:**** So I had these two, completely unrelated fanfictions just lying around when I was struck with inspiration when I came down with a cold and OD'd on cough medicine. Why not combine them? 8D**

**I usually stick with the actor's last names for the characters, but I wanted Demyx's world to be as terribly close to a bad fanfiction as possible, so I pulled out my (rather dusty) Japanese dictionary and gave everyone Japanese last names, and now I will give you a rough translation. Hikari = Light (Yeh, pretty basic), Kaji = Fire (Like, a real blaze. A fire in a hearth is called a "hi", I think), Shinzo = Heart, Dorobo = Thief (Getting really blunt here xD), Shigoto = Business and Mizu = Water. I couldn't find a suitable name for Riku, so I went with Yami, as I have read it in several bad fanfictions. However, I have no idea what Yami actually means, so I apologize if it's something silly like hammer or book. xD**

**Oh, and gakko means school and neko means cat. ^_^**

**Also, Shibuya, Shinjuku, Harajuku and Senonishi are all real places in Japan. I've been to all of them. (bragbragbrag)**

**Enjoy and review~**


	2. Sucks to go to this school

Here at Gakko High, there aren't many rules. However, firearms are a blatant violation of the few rules that do exist and those in possession of them will be flogged mercilessly. That's my first reason for not getting a gun from Zexion and putting myself out of my misery. There are a couple more reasons, but I'll leave the rest of them to your imagination.

As I took my seat in the third row that slow Monday morning, I was seriously contemplating risking a flogging if it meant I'd get out of this hellhole. It was English, a fairly decent subject and all, but a terrible class. I was the only student there, and the teacher was standing behind her desk, arms locked around my Drama teacher, tongue down his throat in a fierce game of tonsil hockey. Watching them was a little disturbing, but I couldn't help but feel bad for my Science teacher. This is the third time the Drama teacher had cheated on her with my English teacher. This week.

Once said teacher had regurgitated my Drama teacher's tongue and allowed him to slip out of the window (For dramatic effect, I expect), she did up the top buttons of her blouse, straightened her wig (Don't ask, please. It's better that way) and pulled out a compact mirror to re-applied her lipstick. She spotted me in the reflection and gave such a start she dropped her mirror. It shattered on the ground, but she didn't seem to care.

"Mr. Mizu!" She gasped, clutching her chest "How long have you been sitting there?"

I shrugged. "Long enough." Too long, actually. When's my cue to leave?

She nodded and gestured to the door. "Run along now and play with your friends." Pssh, as if running along would get rid of the mental scars. I was going to have nightmares for weeks.

"But Miss, its class time." I objected.

"Class is dismissed!" She called out, as if we weren't the only people in the room. With that, she turned tail and fled through the door and into the hallway like a bat out of hell. Sighing, I checked my watch. Nine thirty. I scooped my books up into my arms and trudged out of the room, dragging my feet, a feeling of doom brewing in my chest. What I wouldn't give to just have one normal lesson – how the hell was I supposed to get a job after I graduate? I'm sixteen and I don't even know how to use pi! Damn that freaking whore of a stepmother!

The hallways were almost completely empty. Actually, no, they were completely empty. There was not a student or a cockroach in sight. But I could hear something… muffled giggling, was it? Some sort of clanging noise… I doubted I wanted to know, so I continued on my way, to my locker so I could ditch my books for the morning. I rounded a corner, and my locker was just ahead, but as I drew nearer the sound grew louder. Finally, I drew to a halt in front of my locker. It was fairly big – taller than I was and wide enough to hide in – and as I watched I saw the door bend outwards slightly as something pushed it roughly from the other side. Someone was hiding in my locker, and they weren't being very subtle about it.

Quickly, I opened the lock on my pocket to retrieve my locker key, but my pocket was empty. Frantically, I felt around through my pocket, but my fingers couldn't find the small silver key. Impossible! Was there a hole in my pocket or something? Had it fallen out? Did I leave it in my room? No, I had it when opened my locker barely ten minutes ago to get my English books out. Where the hell was my key?

The person hiding in my locker gave one final loud thump and a long, low moan. I sighed internally as I caught on. It seemed there were two people hiding in there.

Rapping gently on the steel, I called out impatiently "Are you done?"

The door opened a crack and I caught a large violet eye and a flash of auburn hair. "No, she's got ten minutes left. Go away." Kairi scowled at me.

I paused, shocked. "She?"

"Hey Demyx." Naminé's soft voice rang out from deep within the locker, breathless and slightly muffled. I sighed. _Of course_.

"Whatever, just give me back my key, you little pickpocket." I shot, re-adjusting my grip on my books. When I caught that girl with her clothes on again I was going to kill her for using my locker as a brothel. But at least she didn't have a male client in there – males tend leave a mess and I did not want to spend my free morning scrubbing out my locker. Kairi's slim hand appeared from behind the door and offered me the stolen key. Gingerly, I took it from her grip while trying not to touch her skin. Who knew exactly where it had been? Once I had the key, her hand gave me the thumbs up and disappeared behind the door again, shutting it with a gentle click. The giggles started up again, and I turned away slowly.

I honestly had no idea Kairi had female clients, and I didn't know that Naminé had any sexual desires at all. Slightly pleased that I now knew more about the girls, I began to walk away slowly, a smile growing on my face. This was more useful than English would have been.

-x-

Zexion was in his usual Monday-morning state when I found him, which was so hung over he was about to fall off the edge of the Earth. When I entered his office, he was bent over his desk, head resting on his arms in a tired way. He looked up when I shut the door behind me, and his bloodshot slate-grey eyes narrowed at me.

"Don't walk so loud." He complained groggily before letting his head sink back down. I laughed.

"Mornin' Zexy, " I chirped, sliding down into the chair opposite him "Have a big night?"

Zexion just grunted, not bothering to look at me.

I looked around Zexion's small office. One wall was lined with a large bookshelf and several filing cabinets, filled with 'teacher crap' as Zexion put it. Zexion's desk, piled high with paperwork, PC games, some magazines and a laptop computer, rested in front of it. The other wall had several framed photos of people I didn't know and a small couch that I sometimes sat on. The walls were painted a light blue, and the curtains were drawn tightly across the single grubby window.

I glanced over to the small couch that rested against the wall. It was stacked high with all of the previous week's orders that had yet to be distributed. At the bottom of the pile sat a garbage bag of brand new clothing, a stack of porn magazines and DVD's, and on top of that rested the miscellaneous items. Today there was a fluffy pillow, a few PC games, several packs of batteries, a dildo, a dog leash and collar, some firecrackers and a bag of gunpowder, an iPod, a box of condoms, a Swiss army knife and a bag of what seemed to be birdseed.

I glanced over at Zexion's hunched frame. "I have a free morning; do you want me to give some of the orders out?" I asked softly. Zexion grunted a yes, his hand uncurled from underneath his head and tossed a bit of paper in my direction. I picked it up off the floor and saw that it was the checklist.

The first few items on the list were a pair of jeans to Naminé, a Swiss army knife to Roxas (I sweated a little at this), a bag of firecrackers to Axel, a few packs of batteries to Sora, a dog leash and collar to Riku as well as a small compact mirror I hadn't noticed in the pile and three tops and a skirt to Kairi. Thankful I didn't have to touch the dildo, I carefully and quietly sorted out the items, stuffing them into my backpack and making a note on the list what had been taken from the pile and delivered.

When I was finished, I gently placed the checklist back on Zexion's desk and poked him to make sure he was still alive. After receiving a tangled string of swearwords as a response, I turned and walked out of the office.

The first one on the list was Naminé, and as she was still probably using my locker as a hotel room I decided I'd get back to her. The next one was Roxas with his Swiss army knife, and I knew that Roxas usually had Computing first thing on a Monday morning. He liked computers so he never skipped the class. I took a left and started walking down one of the hallways, listening to my footsteps echo loudly off the bare walls and the steel locker doors.

Quite suddenly, there was an ear-splitting boom and the corridor in front of me exploded, sending bricks and debris flying in every direction and the building shook. My survival instincts kicked in and I threw myself to the ground, arms wrapped around my head to protect it from shrapnel. The floor shook uncontrollably and my ears screamed in protest at the sudden explosion. Eventually, the ground stopped shaking and my ears stopped ringing. I noticed how the hallway had fallen eerily silent, apart from the quiet crack of fire.

I glanced up hesitantly to see that the hallway was ruined – A gaping hole glared at me where a doorway had been, revealing the insides of what used to be a classroom. Small flames licked at some of the walls. The sun glinted down at me through a crack in the ceiling, lockers lay scattered everywhere and a layer of dust coated everything, including me.

I crawled to my hands and knees and coughed at the small dust storm I had created doing so. Eventually, I got to my feet and managed to dust myself off. I looked about to see if anyone had been caught in the blast as well, and I spotted a slumped figure in the wreckage of a classroom.

I hurried over, stepping through the cavity in the wall where the door used to be, and bent down next to the person on the floor, who was lying face down and had a scorched flame-retardant jacket on with the hood up. I did a first aid course once and knew better than to risk moving them – they might have a broken neck or some other injury. Instead, I slowly reached down to their neck and felt the scorched skin for a pulse. My heart was in my mouth and my stomach was in my shoes – I really didn't want to have been the one to have found Gakko High's first dead body. At least, the first dead body this term.

At first, I couldn't feel anything. Despair clutched at me like a rabid sloth with long claws. But as I moved my fingers around a little, I felt it. A small twitch. Then another, slightly stronger one. The pulse! I breathed a sigh of relief and sat back, feeling my heart beat in my chest. No dead bodies today!

I looked the body up and down, trying to identify it. I couldn't see any of its hair or the face, but from the legs and torso I assessed that it was a male of about my age, maybe a little taller than me. Definitely a student, though. I couldn't see anything that would immediately indicate who he was, but once I called for help I'd find out. Plus, all circumstances considered, there was really only one person he could be.

"_Axel_!" A voice shrieked from the ruined hallway, followed by the loud thump of books hitting the floor. My head snapped to look in the direction, only to spot a blonde boy in his late teens. This is where things freeze for a moment.

I'd go into a massive and dramatic introduction, and describe his distraught and shocked features. I might even go on to mention how his black and white checkered shoes matched the wristband he wore, or how messy his hair was today, but I seriously doubt any of you don't know who he was. I mean come on, this is a fanfiction, isn't it? The second I said "blonde boy in his late teens" you knew who I was talking about.

In case I am not in a fanfiction and am actually a deranged schizophrenic locked in an asylum, I will introduce this blonde kid with blue eyes and a bad attitude.

(Drum roll, please)

Roxas Hikari.

Like you didn't know that.

Moving right along.

Roxas leapt over his fallen books and into the destroyed classroom in one swift movement. Before I could blink he was on his knees next to the fallen figure, trying to flip him over desperately. Hastily, I grabbed him back, knowing that flipping the unconscious kid over would just worsen all of his current injuries. Roxas pushed me away and looked at me like he'd only just realized I was there.

"Demyx! What the hell did you do to him?" Roxas snarled at me, fists clenched. We were both on our knees, and I was taller than him, but that boy is scary when he's pissed. I shrank back.

"Hey, don't look at me! I found him like this!" I spluttered, trying to protect my head with my arms. Roxas had a pretty mean right hook.

"Like hell you did!" Roxas shouted, spit flecking his chin in a most unbecoming way.

"Roxas!" I grabbed him by the shoulders and glared right into his eyes "Axel could be dying right now and you're trying to hurt me! We need to get help, right away!"

I felt Roxas freeze. "Dead?"

"It takes more than a massive explosion to finish me off!"

Roxas and I both glanced at the doorway, where the slender figure of a boy with shocking red hair learned lazily against the charred door frame, arms folded and smirk in place. You know who he is, but I'm going to tell you anyway. Axel Kaji. There. My strange habit of introducing people I've known for a while to myself is now satisfied. "I'm glad to know that you both cared so much." Axel smirked.

"Axel!" Roxas scrambled to his feet and stumbled over to Axel, catching the unsuspecting male in a rib-cracking bear hug. I could see Axel's bright green eyes pop out of his head a little as Roxas buried his face into his chest. "Don't you ever do that again!"

Once Axel had regained his composure and his breath, he ran his fingers across Roxas' scalp teasingly, causing Roxas to tighten his grip around the other's middle. "Hey, you were the one who thought I was dead, not me."

It made sense, in an Axel sort of way.

"Hold up." I held my arms out; frown etched into my face "So if you're there, than who the hell is this?" I pointed at the boy lying in front of me. Roxas shrugged a 'who cares' while Axel just frowned.

"_Riku_!"

All I saw was a brown streak before Sora Hikari was on his knees next to me in front of the unconscious boy, learning over him and roughly poking at his back. Sora had obviously paid attention during his first aid course too, because he wasn't trying to move the body even though he was freaking out.

Still, I pulled Sora back a little, when the brunette turned around and snuggled right up to me, sobbing heavily into my shirt, shoulders shaking uncontrollably, thin arms squeezing the life out of me. I could feel his tears soak a huge wet patch into my shirt, and his shaking and sobbing was almost giving me whip lash. Awkwardly, I patted him on the back. Talk about your overreactions.

"Demyx!" An angry voice shouted. I glanced over at the hallway to find a pretty boy with long, silver tresses glaring at me intensely. Apparently, the mysterious body on the floor was not Riku either. "Did you make Sora cry?" He hollered, face contorted with rage.

Sora heard his boyfriend's angry shouts and looked up, clear blue eyes fogged with tears. The second he laid eyes on Riku, his face brightened by about a few million watts and he pushed me away roughly and clambered to his feet, wiping the tears away with his fist. He didn't have to go any further, because Riku had crossed the space with a few strides and tacklehugged Sora. Within seconds, they were locked at the jaws.

A little disgusted, rolled my eyes and looked back at the boy on the floor. Okay, so he wasn't Axel and he definitely wasn't Riku, so who was he? Looking about nervously, I wondered how far away his boyfriend was and if he was the angry kind.

"Shall we go to morning tea now?" Axel suggested from the doorway. "If we wait any longer, there won't be any pies left at the shop!"

I looked at my watch. It had been barely ten minutes since I had been kicked out of English; how the hell was it recess already? My watch told a different story, however, informing me that it was in fact quarter past ten. My stomach dropped slightly. Where had the time gone?

Although they were all about as straight as a roundabout, they were still males and the thought of pie was enough to tear Sora from Riku and Roxas from Axel. They all turned and were about to exit the room, when I remembered something.

"Hey guys, wait! I have your orders from Zexion here!" I called out, slinging the dusty backpack off my back. The guys doubled back and swarmed me, all thoughts of pie forgotten.

I plunged my hand into the bag and pulled out a pack of batteries. I tossed it to Sora, who stuffed it into his pocket, smiling his thanks. The next thing my hand caught was the dog leash and collar, which I tossed to Riku, who flipped a very suggestive wink to Sora as he took them from my hand. Roxas accepted his knife with little enthusiasm, making me hope he'd ordered it for the screwdriver alone. Axel's bag of firecrackers was next, and I felt like a death sentence had passed over the school by giving Axel more explosives. The last item was Riku's small, handheld mirror, which he immediately used to check his hair and pick something out of his teeth with his fingernail.

"Sweet, that knocks out more than half of the orders in one go." I smiled and shook the bag, relishing the lightness and wondering how big a discount I could get next time I ordered from Zexion.

"Pie now." Sora smiled, and began to pick his way through the rubble and out to the hallway, Riku close behind. Axel shrugged and he and Roxas began to file out too.

"Uh, guys, what about the kid here-"

"Pie now." Riku waved over his shoulder dismissively.

"Yeah, it was his fault for playing with explosives." Axel shrugged, which I felt was rather rich coming from him.

I looked back at the boy sprawled on the floor. The precious moments we had wasted snuggling up to our boyfriends and handing out orders could have cost him his life. As the crucial seconds ticked away, the only thing that I knew for certain was that this kid needed medical attention – and fast.

"Will someone use their phone to call – Huh?" I looked back up, to find that the room was totally empty. My friends had gone to recess and left me with the unconscious kid and the ruined classroom.

I glanced back down at the boy. Childishly, I looked away and glanced back down to him, hoping he'd move. No matter how many times I looked back at him, he just wasn't going to move. I sighed and slung the backpack onto my shoulder. "Sorry, friend, there's not much I can do for you."

Ignoring my conscious screaming at me in my head, I turned and walked out of the room.

-x-

"So I'm trying this low-fat butter on this raisin bread, and hopefully that, along with my new exercise routine, will make me lose three pounds."

"Are you kidding? Just don't have any butter at all. Or you can do what I do and just not eat anything."

"No, I'm a fat pig and I like my food too much. Plus, if you don't eat at all your hair gets really weak and falls out."

"No way!"

"Yes way."

"That's just a myth!"

"And if you don't eat any protein your nails get really weak too, and they break a lot easier."

"Are you for real?"

I sighed and buried my face into my hands. Anything was better than listening to Kairi discussing her dieting habits to Larxene.

I didn't introduce Larxene before, but she's a temperamental bitch in the grade above mine. She has short blonde hair and green eyes, and she's anorexic. She's one of the lesser-known prostitutes of the school, but she used to be the best. However, Kairi got most of her customers after she stabbed one guy behind the gym for shortchanging her. These days she ranks as a grade A slut – if you're decent looking she'll do you, just for her own enjoyment. Ugly kids have to pay.

She spends most of her lunches swapping stories with Kairi and sharing fashion and dieting tips. They also gossip a little, but seeing how most of the juicer rumors are actually about them both, they don't see much point in it. Besides – a good majority of all rumors at Gakko are actually 100% true. Makes things easier for me, but it totally takes the fun out of gossip.

Back at the lunch table, I sat hunched over my can of coke while Kairi sat next to me, munching away at her salad with a plastic fork. Larxene lounged in her chair across from Kairi, painting her long fingernails a blood red. She was frozen slightly at the information that lack of protein weakens your nails. Larxene loved her nails – scratching people to the bone always got her what she wanted.

Kairi ran her fingers through her auburn strands as she nodded "It's true – we had a long discussion about it in Nutrition the other day."

Funny bird, Kairi was. School prostitute and a total bitch, but she was actually pretty intelligent. Honors in History and Geography, in the highest classes of Math and English, and she could have been the captain of the chess club, but she turned the offer down because she figured chess was useless in life. Kairi was a B grade student, which wasn't bad for a girl who had her brains screwed out twice a day. I've never asked, but I think that she figured that while she was hot she might as well have made some extra cash out of it while she was studying for her PhD or something.

Larxene swirled the straw in her drink "But not eating properly stops your period, and I've always found that useful."

"OKAY!" I cried out, pushing myself up from the table. "I don't need to hear about your periods, Larxene."

Kairi and Larxene giggled the second I said 'period'.

"Oh, grow up, both of you." I rolled my eyes, grabbed my can of coke and stalked away.

"Hey, where are you going?" Kairi called out after me.

"Away from you!" I said over my shoulder as I walked, making her laugh.

"Now that's not very nice, Demyx." A male voice piped up from somewhere to my left "Go back and apologize."

I looked over to spot Sora, who was munching on a bag of chips. He smiled his best childish smile at me and offered me the bag of chips. I gingerly reached into the bag and took a small chip, nodding my thanks. I was always a bit cautious of sticking my hand into places I can't see – people have been known to hide those electric shock buzzer things in everything from a bag of chips to the handle you use to adjust a wheelie chair, and I'd had enough shocks to last a lifetime.

Sora walked me back towards the table and took my old seat next to Kairi, so I sat down next to Larxene rather nervously.

Larxene looked over at me and I felt my soul die a little. "Sooo~" She drew out the O in a bored way "I haven't seen you around for a while, Demy darling! How have you been?" She smiled sweetly at me, fluttering her eyelids.

I didn't mention this before, but Larxene has been after me for a while. I don't know if she thinks I'm hot or if she just likes me for my wonderful personality and stunning wit (Yeah right), but she's tried to catch me off guard several times. There was one time, back before I installed a lock on my pocket, when she paid Naminé to steal my room key. She then snuck into my room while I was out and hid in my closet, waiting for me to get back. She waited until I had stripped down to have a shower and she jumped out and tackled me. I know I'm not supposed to hit girls, but she gave me such a fright I socked her in the eye and gave her a massive black eye. She never tried to surprise me again and she had to wear black eye shadow for weeks until her bruise went down.

She still wants me, though. Sigh.

I chose to ignore her, and tuned into Sora and Kairi's conversation. Just what was Kairi's next move in attempting to break Sora and Riku up? I figured I was about to find out.

"So, Sora, is that rumor true?" Kairi asked coyly as she speared a tomato slice on her plastic fork.

"What rumor?" Sora frowned at turned to Kairi, eyebrows furrowed slightly.

Kairi shrugged dramatically "Oh, you haven't heard it? I suppose nobody wanted to hurt you."

Sora's eyebrow quirked. "Kairi. Spit it out."

Kairi hid a smirk as she lifted the tomato slice to her mouth. "Oh, I heard from a friend of a friend that Riku made out with Axel last Tuesday."

I saw Sora freeze, and I felt the calm before the storm. My eyes widened and I glanced at Kairi, who was watching Sora and beaming like she had won the lottery. Twice. That bitch.

"Riku… made out… Are you serious?" He muttered, staring down at his bag of chips in shock. His cheeks were slowly going pink as his breaths became shorter and faster. I could hear his heart breaking from across the table.

Kairi continued, seemingly oblivious to Sora's reaction. "Oh yeah, a bunch of people saw them, too. It was in front of Axel's locker, and the people watching said that they both seemed to be enjoying it." She stifled a giggle when she looked back to Sora, whose eyes were so wide they looked about ready to fall out of his head.

"Hey guys! What's cooking, good looking?" Riku himself materialized behind Sora out of thin air, waving a cheery greeting to the group before wrapping his arms around Sora's shoulders and resting his chin on the brown spikes. Sora didn't move, and I could hear the cogs turning slowly in Riku's head.

"Hey, Sora, what's wrong?" He learned down next to Sora to look into his eyes, but an angry glare was waiting for him.

"You made out with Axel?" Sora accused, blue eyes glittering with fury. He was nowhere near as scary as Roxas when he was angry, but I couldn't recall seeing Sora looking quite so pissed before.

Riku straightened up, a little stunned. "I did what?"

Sora stood up too, and even though he was a head shorter than Riku he still stared him down. "Kairi just told me everything. You don't have to say anything."

Riku glanced behind Sora at Kairi, who was sitting there with a well-practiced concerned look. He rolled his eyes. "She told you I made out with Axel? Did she see it?"

"No, I didn't see it, but a very reliable source of mine did." Kairi piped up, her tone laced with poison.

"Why did you do it, Riku?" Sora asked desperately, dropping his angry glare.

"He's a hornbag, that's why he did it!" Kairi piped up from behind Sora.

"You – stay out of this!" Riku pointed at the girl angrily, and turned back to Sora. "You honestly think I made out with Axel?"

Sora took a deep breath, screwed his eyes shut and nodded vigorously, like the motion was causing him pain.

"You believe Kairi over me?" Riku asked, sounding a little hurt. Sora paused; obviously he hadn't thought of it that way.

Kairi sensed Sora's doubt, and clambered to gain the upper hand. She stood up, pushing her chair back with a clatter. "The fact of the matter is, I am more reliable than you, you _cheater_!"

The word seemed to have an effect on Sora, who screeched "I never want to see you again!" before raising his fist to strike at Riku, but a slim hand caught his and held it back.

"He's not worth your effort, Sora." Kairi hissed in his ear, causing Riku to snarl some swear words at her. Gently, Kairi tugged at Sora's hand, motioning him to follow her. He shot one last dirty glance at Riku before allowing himself to be swept away by the auburn-haired girl.

Riku stood there dumbly for a few seconds, before throwing himself down into Sora's chair and whacking his head on the table with a loud thump, groaning something unintelligible. That was the second I became aware of myself and Larxene again, sitting there awkwardly, not sure what to do.

"That bitch!" I heard Riku mutter angrily.

"Riku." I said gently, and he looked up. His face was slightly pink with rage. "Are you okay?"

Riku glared at me. "Of course I'm bloody not! The love of my life just waltzed off with the fucking school prostitute!" He thundered, and I shank back. He sighed and his glare softened. "I'm sorry, Demyx. But no, I'm not okay."

I know that Riku was my friend, and though he was conceited and he probably did make out with Axel, I didn't really care about how he felt. I felt a little guilty, but I couldn't make myself feel bad for him. I could pretend that I did feel bad for him, however, so that was what I did.

"Dude, Sora is crazy about you. He'll be back with you by the end of the day, tops." I said confidently, but Riku just let his head flop back onto the table.

"Not if he has Kairi whispering her evil propaganda into his ear the whole day, he won't."

I felt Larxene twitch a little. "I can go and keep an eye on her, if you want. Maybe I can even get her away from Sora so he can make up his own mind." She volunteered. Riku looked up at her.

"That sounds like a good idea, actually." He sat upright, tugging at a strand of silver hair. "Yes. Would you please do that for me, Larxene?"

Larxene, despite her offer, feigned indecisiveness, fingering her chin thoughtfully. "What's in it for me?"

Riku paused, eyeing Larxene suspiciously. "In it for you? Um.." He looked about, before his green eyes locked into mine and he smirked evilly. Oh no. "If you hunt Kairi for me, Demyx will give you a kiss."

My jaw dropped as Larxene squealed with delight. Before I had a chance to stand up for myself, she bounced onto her feet, waved goodbye and ran in the direction Kairi and Sora had gone, leaving me alone with Riku.

"Riku."

"Yes, lover boy?" Riku smirked at me.

"I am going to kill you. Slowly." I shot him daggers. "Very slowly."

Really, now. Who needs soap operas when you live in a bad fanfiction?

**-x-**

**That footer thing that nobody reads****: This was intended as a oneshot, but you guys didn't seem to pick up on that detail, and told me to continue. Because I am an attention whore, I got my act together and scraped this piece of crap together. Oh well.**

**I don't promise you anything more than what I have up here. My life is getting pretty busy with homework and the like, so if I get any further in this story you should consider yourselves lucky. :P**

**Oh, and about Kairi's last name. Some kind soul pointed out to me that "shinzo" refers more to the organ heart than the spiritual love side of it (Like how the 'heart' in Kingdom Hearts does not refer to a kingdom of blood-pumping organs, but a kingdom of the stolen hearts of the worlds destroyed by the heartless). The love heart is called "koroko" or something along those lines. But you know what? I don't speak a lick of Japanese, and neither does your average 11 year old slash writer, so mistakes are to be expected. In fact, it's rather accurate that the Japanese is incorrect, because you can bet your playstation that the average anime fan cares more about anime then the actual history of the country. :D I am aiming for the whole 'bad fanfiction' theme, you know.**

**Oh, and thanks for telling me 'yami' means darkness. I really should have known that, but I'm an idiot so I totally forgot. xD**


	3. Sucks to know them

"Demyx! Hey, Demyx!"

I sighed into my notes and peered over my shoulder. It was the last lesson of the day (The first that had actually taken place) and everyone was in a pretty rowdy mood. It was Maths – we were supposed to be doing Trigonometry but the teacher realized that I was the only person who knew their times tables. She didn't want me to get ahead, however, so I spent that particular lesson re-familiarizing myself with the seven times table.

Axel was sitting behind me, waving to get my attention. Rolling my eyes, I learned around in my chair.

"What do you want?" I asked in a flat tone. I was still in a foul mood from when Riku had sold my lips to Larxene so she would follow Sora around for a day or two. I was also slightly pissed because I'd realized that I didn't remember what seven times twelve was.

Axel grinned and handed me a small, folded bit of paper. Internally I grumbled as I flipped it open. Why couldn't he just say what was on his mind instead of passing notes? It's not like we'd get in trouble for talking. Besides, notes are girly.

I paused as I remembered that Axel was flaming gay. Being girly probably wouldn't faze him.

_hey u rite n shit dont u? _The note read. I rolled my eyes and grabbed at my pen.

_I am writing right now, idiot._ I folded the note up again and tossed it over my head, not caring if it landed on Axel's desk or not. Sure enough, the note came flying over my head a few seconds later, landing smack bang in the middle of my page. Suppressing a groan, I opened it. This was the conversation we had:

_i ment lyk stories n stff._

_Yeah, I do. How do you know?_

_u always use perfect spellin and gramer and shit. ur a total grammer hore. And ive seen u type on the skool comps._

_Grammar. And I like writing stories. What's it to you?_

_i was wonderin if ud rite me a story._

_What? Why do you want a story? And what would it be about?_

_i lyk readin stories n shit. I rekon a story about me n roxie would be gr8._

_No way. I don't write erotica._

_dam. i was thinkin u could call it "the __**ASS**__ociation of the __**ASSASS**__ination of rox__**AS'S ASS**__istant."_

_Get fucked, Axel._

_that was da plan!_

It was then that I turned around and ditched my thousand-page textbook at his head.

-x-

"Yo hoo! Demy darling!"

I cringed behind my locker door. That voice could only belong to one person and one person alone.

_Why, God? Why? What sin did I commit to deserve this punishment?_ Iwondered silently as I cowered in the dark. My math textbook dug into the small of my back uncomfortably, but it was much more welcome than the pain I'd face if I wasn't in hiding.

"Demyx? Where are you, my love? Demy~!"

I could hear the click of high heels on the concrete in the hallway, accompanied by the voice. The footsteps came to a halt in front of my locker. The voice raised a pitch into a mock acting tone. "Well now, wherever could Demyx be? Oh well, I'll just have to leave the _chocolates_ I got for him in his _locker_, seeing as how he's nowhere to be found!"

Suddenly, the door flung open and light streamed in. I cowered against my textbooks, for in the light stood the horrifying silhouette of a thin blonde girl.

_Oh shit. She found me._

Larxene grabbed my arm and pulled me from the locker, only to pin me against the locker next to mine. She learned in, her nose barely an inch away from mine. I could smell the blood and tears of other boys on her breath. I tried to cringe away, but she held me pretty tightly for someone as thin as she was.

"Well now, Demy darling! Guess who decided to take Riku back ten minutes ago?" She smirked, her voice seductively low. The sound made me want to vomit.

"Uh... K-Kairi?" I stuttered.

Larxene giggled. I could see the mascara caked on her long eyelashes, which she fluttered sickeningly. "No, you silly little boy. It was Sora. Sora and Riku are back together – Isn't it wonderful?"

I tried to grin, but inside I was bawling. No way could this happen to me. It must be a horrible dream. Yeah, that's it. All a horrible dream. "I... uh, I suppose so?"

Larxene grinned, her white teeth looking very sharp and deadly. "And you know what_ that_ means, Dem-dem?"

My voice cracked. I sounded like a twelve-year-old girl as I muttered "They... They can have w-wonderful babies together now...?"

Larxene giggled again. I fought down a sob. No. I would have to take this like a man. I tried to straighten up, but Larxene leaned in closer, so I shrunk back down. She had me whipped, that's for sure. I took it like a pussy.

"Oh, you're shy. That's so cute. Well, remember how you made me a little promise..." She placed her hand on my chest and pushed me back against the locker "... to give me a little kiss..." she walked her fingers up my neck and took a firm hold of my jaw "... when I got them back together."

I began to quiver. I think I was also about to wet my pants.

"N-no..."

Her face twisted into a frown and her grip on my jaw tightened. Her long nails dug into my skin painfully. I winced.

"Pay up, twerp." She growled as she learned in.

"LARXENE!" an angry voice shouted out from down the hall.

Larxene slumped and released me from her death grip, cursing angrily. I slid away, managing to get a respectable three metres between us before I looked for my saviour.

Zexion was striding down the hallway in all of his emotastic glory – his black cape swirled majestically in the wind as he flicked his long, purple hair into his face, obscuring his miserable eyes from view. A deep frown etched across his face as he began to complain about how much his life sucked and how little he was paid in a high-pitched and whiny voice that burned my eardrums. Combined with the fact that he looked so depressing that my corneas were temporarily burned like when you look into a bright light for too long, my senses were overrun by a sense of anguish and self-depreciation. I fought the sudden urge to go slit my wrists and listen to My Chemical Romance.

The sheer might of his emoness was enough to make Larxene cower – her preppy ways were no match for Zexion's power of self-pity. She crumpled like a newspaper, turned on her five-inch heels and ran.

_Wild Larxene fled from battle!_

Zexion smiled, flicked his hair out of his eyes and unclipped the black cape. Letting it drop out of the second story window, he laughed. I sighed as I felt the emo vibe fade away, leaving only an introverted student-teacher. And my God, I could have kissed him.

"You _saved_ my _life_." I sighed. "Thanks."

Zexion shrugged. "No problem. I know how much you hate that bitch."

I linked arms with Zexion and we skipped down the hall, singing a hearty chorus of "Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead."

Well, we didn't really, but wouldn't it have been so epic if we had?

Instead, Zexion made his way to his office and I followed, sparking a wonderful yet odd conversation about how much we both disliked females.

-x-

I returned to my room about an hour or so later, only to see the most horrific thing I had seen all day. Well, most horrific beside Larxene trying to kiss me.

My room was a mess – don't get me wrong, it's not usually a clean place, but that afternoon it was like a bomb had hit it. My clothes were strewn all over the floor and the draws had been pulled out of the cabinet. My blanket was ripped in half and the mattress was on the floor. The posters on my walls had all been torn down. The single soft animal I had owned all my life – a stuffed tiger called Benjamin – lay with his head submerged in a one-galleon fish tank that I was sure I hadn't owned that morning. Oh, and the fish looked pretty dead too.

In the middle of the mess sat two very happy Hikari twins, locked in a thumb wrestle.

"What the hell happened here?" I snapped once I'd managed to scoop my jaw off the floor.

The brunette, Sora, yanked his hand away from his brother's and grinned at me. "Hey there Dem dem! How's it going?"

Roxas punched Sora in the shoulder, causing him to wince. "Dude, you backed out! That means I win!"

"No, I was talking to Demyx! The game was paused!" Sora whined, rubbing his arm.

"You didn't say pause! You lose!"

"Nu-uh!"

Roxas tackled Sora and the two started to roll about on the ground, trying to strange each other.

"OI!" I bellowed. The twins froze, Roxas bent over Sora in a somewhat suggestive position. Sora roughly pushed him away and sat up. "What the fuck happened to my room?" I glared.

Sora grinned sheepishly and scratched his messy brown spikes. "Well, about that. It's a bit of a story, so you should probably sit-"

"Larxene trashed it and we fought her off." Roxas cut in, rolling his eyes. "You owe us big time."

I glanced about the room, surveying the damage. Was it possible that one anorexic girl could make such a mess in one hour?

I paused. It was Larxene. That bitch could do anything.

"And the fish tank?" I asked, watching the dead fish float next to my stuffed tiger's head.

"That was supposed to be a surprise. For your birthday, you know?" Sora grinned. "Only, the fish was alive fifteen minutes ago... oh well." He shrugged.

"But my birthday isn't for three months." I said, rubbing my knuckles into my eyes. It had been a long day.

"Yeah, that was the surprise part." Roxas laughed.

I sighed. "Well, it'd be a pretty nice birthday present if you would help me clean up this mess."

Sora and Roxas exchanged a glance, and in that second I knew they wouldn't lift a finger to help me. I was going to be spending some quality time with a broom.

"Well, why don't you sleep over at ours tonight? Tomorrow's Saturday, so we can clean tomorrow." Sora smiled, tugging at a ripped poster at his feet.

"Uh, no? Today's Monday. Tomorrow's Tuesday. We have class tomorrow." I reminded him gently. Sora was lucky if he could remember his own name half the time, let alone what day of the week it was. I go easy on him a lot.

Roxas shrugged. "Blow class off. Nobody else goes."

Again, I sighed. Against my better judgement, I nodded. "Fine, let's have a sleepover."

-x-

"Truth or dare?"

For the fifteenth time in five minutes, I asked myself just what I was doing spending the night in the Hikari headquarters. The sleepover had started well enough – playing some racing games on Roxas' dusty PS2 and having a thumb war tournament. I was actually having fun. But then Sora got the brilliant idea to invite Axel and Riku over, and the night had just gone downhill from there.

Riku looked at me expectantly. His long silver hair had been tied up in a pretty ponytail by a giggling Sora an hour before. Watching the two of them rip, I wouldn't be surprised if someone broke out the pink nail polish.

Truth or dare? If I picked dare I'd probably have to strip or kiss someone. (Thankfully not Sora or Roxas, Riku and Axel wouldn't allow for that.) If I picked truth I'd be submitted to a fifteen-minute grilling about every sexual encounter I'd ever had or if I had a crush on anyone. So I was pretty much screwed either way.

"Truth?" I muttered, my voice embarrassingly high. I figured that truth would be the lesser of two evils. At least I could lie my way out of it.

Riku's handsome face cracked into a wicked grin. He jerked his head in the direction of Sora and Roxas. "If you had to sleep with either of the Hikari twins, which would it be?"

I swallowed nervously. Roxas glared at me with his best I'll-kill-you-slowly stare, Sora swatted playfully at Riku's side. Axel was cracking his knuckles while Riku looked about ready to pull Sora in for another round of tonsil hockey. I was on pretty thin ice. What was I doing there again?

"Sora, I suppose." _It would hurt less, _I added mentally.

Sora flushed pink while Roxas smirked at him. Riku shot me a warning glare. "Hey, you asked. Don't get all offended." I snapped.

Axel leaned forward. "My turn." He said, completely ignoring my protest. It was my turn, damnit!

"Roxie. Truth or dare?" He turned to the blonde, who only rolled his sky-blue eyes.

"Dare. Only girls pick truth." He stated, flicking his eyes in my general direction. I decided to ignore the jab.

"Kiss me." Axel smirked.

Well, I'm not going to go into any detail to spare your poor brain. But to make a long story short, Roxas resisted for about ten minutes and called Axel every name under the sun while doing so, but was eventually persuaded by Sora to give in. I didn't want to watch, but I ended up peeking when they'd passed the thirty-second mark. And man, I had no idea Axel's tongue was that long. It was creepy.

When they were finished, Roxas sat very close to Axel. I was tempted to take Sora and Riku and give the two some time alone.

"Well now. I'm getting sick of this game." Axel said after a few seconds of silence. "Let's play something else."

Sora shrugged. "I don't think Roxas is sick of it." He dodged the blonde's fist "But okay, let's play another game. I have just the thing!" He bounced onto his feet and disappeared into the bathroom, re-emerging with a big grin and an empty wine bottle.

Oh shit.

"Where'd you get that?" Riku asked, snatching the tinted glass bottle from his boyfriend.

"Cloud gave it to me." Cloud was a friend of Sora's in the year above us. But you already knew that, did you, you creepy stalker?

Riku snorted something about alcoholics anonymous and placed the bottle on the carpet. "Gather round, boys." He beckoned. The four of us sat on the ground, forming a tight circle around the bottle. My shoulder pressed tightly against Sora's and Roxas', while Axel and Riku sat across from me. Somehow, I knew that this would end badly. And of course I was right. But I stayed, because I am being possessed by an insane 11 year old slash writer.

Riku went first. At first the bottle spun so fast the ends were a blur, but it eventually it ground to halt when the top pointed back at Riku.

"Gonna kiss yourself?" Axel chortled. Riku punched him.

"Well, the bottom of the bottle should count if the top faces the person who spun." Riku reasoned. I cringed – the bottom of the bottle was directly facing me.

"No, I think that rule's rubbish. The person who has the bottom half should be next to spin." I muttered quickly as I reached for the bottle. I knew that I'd have to kiss someone eventually, but so long as it wasn't Riku I would be okay. Riku scared me. And he might start stalking me if I kissed him, which was something I did not have time for.

The bottle spun quickly at first, almost as fast as my heartbeat. This spin could dictate how I died – stalked until I offed myself, or beaten to death by a jealous boyfriend. I held my breath as the bottle slowed and the top inched toward me. Maybe I would be lucky enough to get off without kissing anyone.

But the bottle inched past me and came to a complete halt directly in front of Sora. I sighed. The world hated me.

Sora blushed. Roxas laughed. Riku glared. I swallowed. _If looks could kill._

Sora tucked a single brown spike behind his ear shyly. I twiddled my thumbs. Maybe if we messed about and stalled for long enough my turn would be skipped. But Axel was having none of it.

"Oi. You two have to kiss. Rules are rules." The redhead smirked. I resisted the urge to snap at him about his bad history with rules.

"Come on Demyx. The sooner we get this over the better, right?" Sora smiled reassuringly. I groaned.

"Fine. Make it quick. And nothing fancy." I mumbled as Sora learned closer. I squeezed my eyes shut.

In hindsight, I suppose it wasn't so bad. Just a brief peck, like how you'd kiss your mother. Or your gay, taken friend. Not bad for a first kiss, I guess, even if it was just for a stupid game. I definitely preferred Sora over Larxene, even if I wasn't very fond of either. But when I opened my eyes, Sora was pink and my face was burning. Riku looked ready to kill.

"Demyx? I think I hear Larxene calling." He snapped, clambering to his feet. His expression was murderous. Grabbing me by the arm, he yanked me onto my feet. "I think it's time you went to see her."

I'd like to tell an epic tale of how I bravely fought him off, but in reality I was pretty close to soiling my underwear. I dug my heels into the carpet, but Riku was strong. He dragged me to the front door and tossed me out into the hallway as easily as if I was made out of cardboard. Behind him, I could see Sora and Roxas getting to their feet to stop Riku from beating the snot out of me.

"Bye, _Dem dem_." Riku sneered as he slammed the door in my face.

I pounded my fist against the door. "Make sure you use a condom when you screw Sora into next week!" I barked.

I could hear some muffled voices behind the door, but the door did not open. I groaned and checked my watch – 11 PM. I could go back to my room, push my mattress back onto my bed and try to get some sleep, but I didn't want to think about the stench that dead fish would have made. I thought about who would offer me a bed at this time of the night. Naminé? Not if I wanted to be robbed blind. Kairi? No, she'd probably bore me to death with some shallow heart-to-ear session. Larxene? I'd rather sleep on the lawn in front of the school. Where could I go?

I smiled when I remembered the one person who would take me in. Setting off, my pace was more akin to a trot. Tonight would be fun.

-x-

"So you came here?" Zexion's eyes narrowed.

I stuffed my hands into my pockets and rocked on the balls of my feet. "Yep." I tried to grin.

He rolled his eyes and held the door open wider for me. "You'd better come in then."

I smiled and strolled in, looking about curiously. I'd never been into Zexion's room before, just his study. But the room was pretty much the same – squishy couch, a few beanbags, piles of books and magazines, posters of assorted ratings here and there, a few empty beer bottles, and the tiniest bed I had ever seen, made with fluffy quilts and pillows. The place smelled faintly of vanilla and booze.

"Nice place." I quipped as I dumped myself into a beanbag.

Zexion's lip tugged upwards into that reluctant smile of his. "Thanks. If you want a drink or whatever help yourself. The mini fridge is by the sink." He waved his hand dismissively. I followed the gesture and sure enough, a small fridge sat under the sink in the corner. Students weren't allowed appliances in their rooms, so I was impressed.

"So what were you up to before I dropped in?" I asked, watching Zexion pick up a reasonably thick book and flick through the pages, sitting on the armrest of the couch as he buried his nose into the book.

"I _was_ reading this monstrosity of a book." He muttered, looking for his place.

"Oh yeah? What's it about?"

"It's called Twilight, and I think it's about pixies masquerading as vampires." He shrugged. "Kind of hard to tell, I've never read such an inane book before." He dropped it onto the couch with an air of disgust. I laughed.

"So where can I sleep? On the couch?" I asked.

Zexion smirked and held up a small box. I squinted at the tiny writing – when I realized what was in the box a cold wave shot down my spine as I recognized it. That box had been sitting on Zexion's couch that morning. Shifting uncomfortably in my beanbag, the polystyrene balls rattled together noisily. Zexion didn't notice, whacking the box against the palm of his hand as he spoke.

"Oh, I don't think we'll worry about sleeping just yet. I have a better idea."

I swallowed. The box of condoms gleamed in its silver wrapping.

-x-

"_Will all teachers and students please report to the Assembly Hall immediately. Will all teachers and students please report to the Assembly Hall immediately. Thank you."_

I stifled a giggle as I bent over my notes. This was going to be priceless.

Naminé poked my side and whispered in my ear. "Hey Dem, let's wag the assembly."

I cocked an eyebrow and looked over at her – the pretty blonde had that gleam in her eyes she only got when she was planning to steal something. I rolled my eyes.

"If you want to go and ransack the staffroom, be my guest. But I'm going to assembly." I shut my notebook and began to pile my books together.

"You're such a nerd, Demyx! Come on, they have their car keys in there. We could go for a _joyride_!" She sang. I scooped my books into my arms and straightened up, rolling my eyes. Naminé could try to convince me all day, but in the end she'd have to find someone else to get expelled with.

"No, I'm going to assembly. And I'd like you to come too." I smiled, and Naminé went slightly pink. Was it just me or did everybody seem to have a crush on me these days? "But we have to go now, otherwise we'll miss it."

Naminé sighed and slung her book bag over her shoulder, and I knew I had her. "But assembly goes for a full hour, how could being five minutes late make us miss it?" She complained as she followed me to the door.

I smirked. "You'll see."

We rounded a corner and stopped in front of the double doors that lead to the Assembly Hall. I glanced around, scanning the area for teachers. Finding none, I quickly undid the lock on my pocket (Making sure to hide the combination from Naminé's eager eyes) and pulled out my ring of keys. After a few moments of fiddling around, I selected the copy of the school's master key and slid it into the lock.

Naminé gasped "Where the hell did you get that?" she moaned, and I had to laugh. She'd been trying to get the school's master key for years. I could almost hear her heart breaking from two feet away.

I shrugged. "Private source. Come on." I pushed the door open, revealing the darkened Assembly Hall. Nobody else would show up for at least another five minutes, so we had some time to hide. "This will be epic."

Naminé cocked her eyebrow at my behaviour (Who else wouldn't be suspicious if a male was leading them into a dark, empty, locked room?) but followed me as I entered the hall and began to feel my way along the row of chairs that sat against the back wall. After almost a full minute of fumbling about and cursing in the dark, my hand felt the rail of the staircase that led to the lighting box. Grabbing Naminé by the wrist, we carefully made our way up the stairs, occasionally stumbling.

Finally, we were at the landing at the top of the hall. If the lights were on, I'd have been able to see every square inch of the hall. And as the stage was on the opposite side of the hall, nobody would be looking in this direction. It was perfect.

"Demyx? What the hell are we doing up here?" Naminé whispered beside me. We were alone, so even if we had been shouting nobody would have noticed, but it felt right to whisper.

"You'll see." I whispered back.

Almost as soon as I was finished speaking, the door creaked open again, throwing a long line of light across the polished floorboards. Students began to trickle in, soon lost in the darkness. Shouts and laughter echoed and bounced off the walls. Finally, a single teacher entered. A close glance revealed it to be Zexion. I smirked. Everything was going according to plan. I could almost hear the faint click of a light switch.

The overhead lights flickered with life, briefly illuminating the hall, before falling dark again. Finally, they burst into life, harshly brightening the hall. I squinted through the glare.

At first, there was a shriek. Then, somebody laughed. Someone else joined in, and before I knew it, there was a sea of hysterical students below me. The racket was deafening.

For all across the hall, suspended by fishing wire that was tied to the beams on the roof, hung hundreds of inflated condoms. All sorts of condoms – extra small, extra large, coloured, glow-in-the-dark, flavoured, studded, ribbed. Every sort imaginable. Some of the bravest kids had reached up and plucked inflated condoms down, whacking each other with them or popping them. Others had run out of the room. I think one even threw up. The chaos was amazing. I couldn't even hear myself laughing over the noise.

Naminé was bent over double next to me, laughing so hard there were tears pouring down her cheeks. She beat at her knees weakly as she gasped for breath.

"Demyx! Did you do this?" She managed to shout over the din. I grinned and nodded.

Below me, the racket died down. I looked down, to see a ring of students parting to allow a single man through. The principal of the school, Xemnas, narrowed his amber eyes with distaste. I could almost feel the heat of his anger from fifteen meters away. But the laugher bubbled in my throat – I had to clap a hand over my mouth to stop myself from laughing. Tears welled in my eyes. A quick glance confirmed that Naminé was in the same boat as me.

"What," Xemnas began slowly. He spoke softly but his voice managed to reach every corner of the hall "is the meaning of this?"

Some smart kid up the back chortled "The hall got condomed, sir."

Xemnas sighed, as if he was just very tired, but everyone who had half a brain knew that he was fighting down the urge to slaughter us all. I should have been terrified, but at that moment it just seemed terribly funny.

"Students, return to class." He called. Everybody rushed to leave. "Except..." The students paused – just who was in trouble now? I smirked, confident that Xemnas hadn't seen us. I had chosen a good hiding spot.

"Demyx Mizu and Naminé Dorobo."

Oh, clusterfuck.

-x-

**An afterthought:**** Here's your daily dose of crack. Enjoy. And to all Zemyx fans – Gotcha! Haha! –evil grin-**


	4. Sucks to be here

_I remember that I was walking into the city after school one afternoon. Shiki was supposed to meet up with me and our other friends Beat and Rhyme at the arcade, where were going to have a dance competition on the new DDR machine. After that, I suppose we all would have gone to Sunshine's and had a plate of hot chips together._

_I was strolling along, tapping a short message to Shiki._

"Hey Stalker, are you still meeting us at the arcade?_"_

_Because my nose was buried in my phone I didn't notice the car pull up next to me until someone shouted my name._

"_Neku!"_

_I jumped, almost dropping my phone, and turned to the speaker. I saw a woman with long, blonde hair leaning out of the window of a small black car. I smiled as I recognized Melody Bito, Beat and Rhyme's mother._

"_Hello, Mrs. Bito." I nodded, but paused. Melody's face was twisted with worry, and I noticed her hair was messy. "What's wrong?"_

"_Neku, it's Melody." She tried to smile. "And well, there's been an accident. I called your mother and she said it was okay if I picked you up from school and took you to the hospital."_

_My stomach dropped as my heart leapt into my mouth. Accident? Hospital? My mouth set in a firm line as I clambered into Melody's car, a sense of dread growing in my chest. She put her foot down and the car shot from the footpath and into the traffic._

"_What happened?"_

_Melody sighed as she drove, not looking up from the road. After a moment of collecting her thoughts, Melody's eyes flicked in my general direction for a moment._

"_Shiki wasn't at school today."_

_It wasn't a question, it was a statement. And she was right – Rhyme went to the same all girl's school as Shiki, and she had sent me a text message earlier that day informing me that Shiki was absent. I had been worrying that she wasn't going to come to the arcade with us, but as I sat in that car it felt like the stupidest problem in the world._

"_What happened?"_

_Melody bit at her thumb nail as we drove. "Well, she probably wouldn't want you to know."_

_I glared at her over my hoodie. Shiki was my best friend in the whole world – no way would she keep me in the dark about something as serious as a hospital visit. I tried to think of some witty remark that would convince Melody to tell me what had happened, but I was never very good with words and I remained silent._

"_Well, I suppose I should tell you." Melody mumbled after a while "But don't tell Shiki you know, okay? Let her tell you in her own time."_

_I nodded and Melody sighed. "Well, it happened when Shiki was walking to school this morning. A thug grabbed her – in broad daylight, too! – dragged her into an alley and..." Melody swallowed "Took advantage of her."_

_It felt like my guts had fallen out of my butt._

"_The poor girl is really bruised, and I think he cracked a few of her ribs. But the worst part was that the sick bastard tried to murder her when he was done. She has a large gash across her throat."_

Well shit, that scene is really morbid. I pulled my headphones out and scrolled over what I had just written – somehow I wasn't sure that Melody telling Neku of Shiki's assault in the car was dramatic enough.

I rapidly hit the backspace key and tried again.

_I glared at her over my hoodie. Shiki was my best friend in the whole world – no way would she keep me in the dark about something as serious as a hospital visit. I tried to think of some witty remark that would convince Melody to tell me what had happened, but I was never very good with words and I remained silent._

_Melody and I drove in total silence. The whole way my insides churned sickeningly, and I fiddled with my MP3 player as I waited, trying to find a song that didn't make me want to curl up and cry or scream and put my fist through the window. I didn't immediately notice that I was shaking._

_When Melody pulled up in front of the hospital her face was grey. "Neku" she mumbled as I fiddled with the door. "Shiki looks pretty bad, so brace yourself."_

_I swallowed and nodded. But I was determined to see Shiki, even if she did look like hell._

"Hey faggot!"

Ah, fuck.

I barely had time to save and close my screen before a warm arm snaked around my neck and pulled me backwards in a friendly manner. When I was free I turned around in my wheelie chair to see Axel's face barely an inch from mine.

I recoiled. "What do you want?"

Axel straightened up and glanced around the library. It was pretty empty for a Wednesday morning, with only a few hungover students passed out on the soft carpet and a group of younger boys looking at pictures of breasts in a human anatomy book.

"You were supposed to meet Xemnas fifteen minutes ago."

I jumped up. "WHAT?" Frantically I snatched my USB and gathered up all of my books, stuffing them into my backpack. I didn't have time to log out of the computer so I simply wrenched the plug out of the wall to shut the machine down. Nobody kept Xemnas late, and I mean _nobody. _The last kid who was late to a meeting with Xemnas was so thoroughly terrified he was later hospitalised from drinking straight bleach.

Dashing through the corridors, my heart hammered in my chest and my thoughts swirled through my head sickeningly. What an idiot I was! Sat down to write when I knew I had a meeting with Xemnas at 9AM sharp. Fortunately for me, Xemnas' office was rather close to the library, so I was only sixteen minutes and twenty-three seconds late.

I slammed the door open and charged in, overflowing with excuses and apologies for being late, but I stopped dead when I saw Xemnas sitting rigidly behind his desk, rapidly tapping at a PlayStation Portable, his face dark with concentration. I cleared my throat, but Xemnas just shook his head without looking up.

"One moment, Mr. Mizu, I am engaged in a heated boss battle presently. I will be – WITH – YOU" his rapid tapping became wilder as he tilted the console with frustration, calming down once he gained the upper hand "In a moment."

I didn't dare to comment or laugh, so I obediently sat in front of his desk and twiddled my thumbs. My fate probably hung on the outcome of Xemnas' battle; if he won he might treat me fairly, but if he lost he would probably hang me from a tree with my own small intestine. Charming man, really.

As the minutes trickled by I calmed down and began to observe his spacious office. Xemnas' technology was all state-of-the-art; His computer had no wires or cords to speak of, and the telephone on his desk was a fancy model. His mahogany desk was spotless aside from the odd manila envelope or stack of paper. There was only one filing cabinet in the back corner of the room – an Amazon Kindle sat atop of it, containing most of the school's records in its expansive memory. Framed certificates lined the walls – some bearing Xemnas' name and others congratulating the school. Last year's staff photo also hung above the door. The office was crisp, clean and organised. I scratched my elbow and wished that I was on the couch in Zexion's messy office.

Eventually, Xemnas threw the PSP down with disgust. "Curse that Vanitas, he defeated me once again." He muttered as he fumbled with a stack of paper. Noticing my presence, he smiled wearily. "I suspect you understand my predicament?"

"I'm more of a DS gamer, really." I quipped.

Xemnas' resulting cough into his gloved hand sounded oddly like "Pussy."

As I watched Xemnas chuckle at his own joke, I couldn't help but feel that his reputation was misleading. Maybe he wasn't such a bad person at all – in fact, he seemed like a rather nice man when he wasn't trying to be intimidating. Hey, the guy liked to play video games during school hours, so he was probably a lot more relaxed than most people realized. I relaxed as I noticed that he seemed almost good-natured.

Well, he seemed good-natured until he pulled a stock whip out of his desk drawer and cracked it loudly over our heads. I threw my arms over my face in a panic.

"Mr. Mizu, it has come to our attention that you have acquired certain knowledge recently."

I peeked over my arms cautiously. Xemnas was placing his PSP in a case I hadn't noticed before. He zipped the case forcefully and gently placed it next to his whip.

"C-Certain... knowledge?"

Xemnas smiled, but it was not a nice smile. I was reminded of a predator smiling before it captured its prey. Involuntarily I began to shiver as Xemnas spoke again "About our existence, and our purpose."

"I thought I was here because of the condoms in the assembly hall?"

Xemnas stood up, stretching to his whole six feet and three inches, towering over me. Flicking a strand of grey hair over his shoulder, he linked his arms behind him in a peculiar fashion and began to pace the room. His face was stormy.

"You fancy yourself a bit of a writer, don't you?" Xemnas spat at me, ignoring my question. His mood was so dark I could practically see the air around his body darken. I wished I could go into Xemnas' PSP and beat Vanitas up myself, because death by fictional character seemed less painful and humiliating.

"You write fanfictions for your favourite DS game, The World Ends With You, do you not?"

My jaw dropped. How did the principle know what I did with my spare time?

Xemnas glared at me. "Don't look so innocent, Mr. Mizu. You are being monitored, and you have been for some time. It appears that you've stumbled across the very fabric of our universe while writing your monstrous little creation."

I shrank down in my seat. "Fanfiction?"

Xemnas' glower was sharp enough to cut diamonds. I'll admit, I was fighting back tears at that stage. I didn't want to die!

"Your knowledge has hampered our world, Demyx. Because you know that your life is a lie you haven't participated as you were originally intended to. Your actions are threatening the future of the world as you and I know it."

My head swum. My life _was_ a fanfiction? My actions _were _hampered by an idiotic, naive, eleven year old yaoi fangirl? Nothing was real? The neat office spun around me as I processed the new information. Everything I knew was a complete lie. Drinking straight bleach seemed like a pretty good idea if it would end this charade I called a life.

"The current situation always leads to one inevitable conclusion – _deletion_." Xemnas spoke softly, venomously. Briefly, Zexion's laughing face flashed into my mind and I realized that I'd never see him smile again. The tears I'd been fighting back rushed to my eyes and fell down my face rapidly, as if each of them were trying to escape at once. I fell from the chair and onto my knees, sobbing heavily into my hands.

"Please don't kill me!" I managed to force out between sobs.

Xemnas watched me cry coldly. After a moment he sighed "Get up, you silly little boy. Save your emotions for scenes the readers will actually enjoy."

I wanted to make a witty comeback, but all I managed was a strangled sound. I forced myself to clamber back into the chair and wiped my streaming cheeks on my sleeve. After a minute or so I managed to stop crying, but once the initial shock, rage and humiliation were gone I felt strangely empty.

"There is an alternative to deletion." Xemnas began after I had composed myself. "You cannot be allowed to wander around with a free mind as you have been doing recently. For this world to prosper each person must be in complete control of the author, even if they completely contradict their preset personalities and histories."

I sighed. "So I've been possessed."

Xemnas chuckled, and a silver of that good nature shined through once again, but I wasn't fooled. "I'd describe it as 'influenced'."

I fought down a sarcastic laugh.

"The alternative to deletion is character development. Your character may be further developed to suit this world while incorporating your wisdom if it is deemed as low-risk." Xemnas stated calmly, pulling his gloves further over his hands. "However, that requires a great amount of skill from the author, and this one has yet to prove she has such a level of finesse-"

Xemnas was cut off as a sudden earthquake shook the building, throwing his office into chaos. I scrambled under the desk, covering my ears to protect them from the horrible, deafening noise of the building crumbling slightly while Xemnas was flung about the room in a way that defied gravity, bouncing off walls and crashing into the ceiling. But before I could even think, it was over and Xemnas and I were exactly as we had been before the quake – I sat in the chair while Xemnas stood over me. A quick glance around the room revealed it to be completely spotless as it had been before.

I shuddered.

Xemnas sighed as though nothing had happened. "Tonight you will pack your bags and tomorrow you will be travelling to a character development camp at the base of the mountains. Traveling with you will be those whom you have greatly affected with your knowledge."

I paused, but before I could ask Xemnas what he meant he stepped behind his desk, sat down with a sigh and grasped at his PSP case.

"What I mean, Shit-For-Brains, is that you, Sora, Roxas, Riku, Axel, Kairi, Naminé, Larxene and Zexion will be going to Camp Camp tomorrow."

I cursed something about eleven-year-olds smoking weed and writing fanfiction, but Xemnas just laughed heartily at me.

"My dear Mr. Mizu, our author is not eleven and she hasn't been for some time." He mumbled as he unzipped the PSP case and pulled the console out. "In fact, she just turned eighteen a few days ago."

Happy fucking birthday, you sick bitch.

-x-

**Sick Bitch's Ramble****: What's this? A **_**plot**_**? Holy crap! Call the press!**

**Short chapter because awesome things are underway. Like, more awesome than sparkly rainbow unicorns, and we all know how awesome **_**those **_**are. I know Demyx is going to have a hell of a lot of fun in the next few chapters. –Evil cackle- And I threw in my age because a few people asked if I actually was eleven, even though my outdated profile says that I'm seventeen. XD People have to learn not to take this shit seriously! (Although this story should get **_**very **_**interesting now that I'm legally allowed to drink alcohol.)**

**I like the idea of being a god to a small universe. Maybe that's why I write so much. And I bet you'd forgotten about Demyx's little fanfiction, ey? Well, I haven't, and it'll be appearing more often from now on.**

**And yeah, Xemnas is playing Birth By Sleep. XD It's a really fun game, even though Vanitas is really tough.**


End file.
